May 2013
deucebowl:
How the FUCK am I supposed to have a good day when 28% of Americans aren’t getting enough fiber?
In honor of masturbation month....
1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?
2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:
3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:
4: Something that never fails to make you horny:
5: Where is one place you would never have sex:
6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________
7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:
8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:
9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:
10: What is the fastest way to make you horny:
11: Top or bottom?
12: We were about to ____________ but then ______________
13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug?
14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?
15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:
17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:
18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
19: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?
22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
23: How big is too big (peniswise):
24: One sexual thing you would never do:
25: Biggest turn on:
26: Three spots that drive you insane:
27: Worst possible time to get horny:
28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:
29: Worst sexual idea you ever had:
30: How much fapping is too much fapping:
31: Best sexual complement you ever got:
32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:
33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:
34: Fill in the blanks: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"
35: What your favorite part of your body:
36: Favorite foreplay activities:
37: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]
38: What do you wear to bed?
39: When was the first time you masturbated:
40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
42: Have/would you ever have sex outside?
43: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?
46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?
47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?
48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?
49: Most attractive celebrity?
50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now
52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?
53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?
54: Do you have stretch marks?
55: How do you feel about your stretch marks?
56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks?
57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)
58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
59: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
61: Is there anything you do on tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?
62: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)
63: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?
64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?
65: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
66: Do you watch porn?
67: How small is too small?
68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?
70: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?
71: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?
72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?
73: If you could give yourself head, would you?
74: Booty or Boobs?
75: If you had a penis, what would you name it?
76: Have you ever been on an official date?
77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)
80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?
81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina
this seems fun
rneerkat:
rneerkat:
whats a librarians favorite color
read
Mattress Surfing
sodamnrelatable:
Expectation:
Reality:
bikinimybottom:
if jay z ever freaks out and murders his entire family all i know is that the headlines better read ‘jay z goes cray z’
damnafricawhathappened:
What can I call a 55 year old I’m trying to seduce?
Cute? Adorable? Or handsome? Dapper?
akanedee:
if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence
maxterbate:
maxterbate:
Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr?
Free chocolate milk for everyone
i have just been informed on this
exit the womb they said
life will be great they said
cantankerouscrab:
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
myswancostume:
taking barre with ankle weights on
(◕‿◕✿)
(◕‿◕✿)
(◕‿◕✿)
kill me
ikea-4-life:
when i say i want to marry my favorite musician i don’t mean just bang i mean like
i want to be making pancakes on sunday morning and have him walk downstairs in plaid pajama pants with messy hair and have him kiss me on the nose
glamour-parade:
How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you